Chance

At retreat the speaker, Anna, said that our issues or problems either fuel our passion with Christ or it'll fuel hatred and pain. For me I feel as if the only time God is present is when my life is at a crisis. The only time i realize that god loves me is when im in a state of drunkenness or high off other drugs. Its either that or other struggles that I have that impacts my life a lot. Why is it that I need a crisis or have to be under the influence to realize how empty my life is. In bible study today the senior guys and girls got in a circle and we shared our problems/what we learned at the retreat. Me along with everyone else thought of each other as family so we opened up with no hesitation. Some tears were dropped from some of them. As corrupted as we all seem, whatever problem we had during the week, it seems to disappear when we're together. It's amazing how He works so quick. He challenged me with what seems to me the biggest choice or turning point in my life. The choice is simple but the task ahead of me will be something that I can't deal with alone. I will always have Christ by me. I don't know what will really happen, It can result with my life at risk along with my friends and family, or the outcome can be nothing happens. Tomorrow is where my new life starts, whatever happens I know His presense is there.

Its funny how one fight can change your whole life. For me it was a stupidass orange beign thrown at me, which resulted in me getting kicked out of the safest school. After that my life went downhill. I should write a damn book about how my life changed after that day haha. it will be titled "The life changing orange " or something hahaha some people mgiht not get that but if you know then you know haha.

My bible study teacher John Choi is like another father to me and also a Brother. Without him and VKCPC , I would be how I used to be: reckless, filled with hate. He told me to make a vow to join God's way. All I need to say is that I will do whatever he asks of me. The question is SO simple but it is the most straight foward a question can be. Ask yourself What would Jesus Do?
That phrase is overused and played out but it has become my favorite. W.W.J.D!! haha

I have been given another challenge or task by God. It is to become a bible study teacher myself. I am going to become a biblestudy teacher to the upcoming 6th graders. Can I do it? At retreat , when I was assigned to be group leader I took the opportunity to get to know my kids. They have so much potential and unrevealed passion towards God. Pastor ben told us the little kids look up to us older boys. When I think about that, it also gives me motivation to change myself. What would the middle school kids think if they always smell smoke on us? The way we dress impacts them also. If they look up to us then we have to take that into consideration and set them straight. I can only be a guide to lead them to the path God paved for them. I can only push them so far towards that path and let God take care of the rest. The next time I'm about to take a hit out of that blunt, or cigarette, a sip of alcohol, or I'm about to pop the pill, I need to realize thats not the kind of life a christian should live. Obviously its not something you would want to look up to either. hahaha

Guide me to the path you paved for me.